Guy fier ivolume knob11/11/2022 ![]() ![]() The look is reassuring as if the nurse thinks I’m going to cry the second he leaves me alone. The nurse is male and British, and my father thinks he looks like someone on tv. He’s been my friend the second my baby hands grabbed his wide-knuckled fingers. Jokes and easy remarks of old friends are all we have between us because he is old, and he’s my first friend. The corners of his eyes crinkle, and I begin to comprehend what I have steadily ignored. I read the uncertainty and the fear in his words as if they were spelled out in syrup. This, he tells me in Cantonese, the language of my youth. So now what? But my asking was not an act of bravery. I dare myself to ask him what happened.Īs he tells me of the EKGs, the ambulance ride, and the faceless strangers, he smiles the way he does when telling me a story that will surely make me laugh. I do the dance with him, the steps familiar though they felt wrong. Buy a lot of things? The words are routine, teasing. His jacket is draped over the back of the chair, as if someone had the care and peace of mind to place it there. In it are his tie and the shiny leather office shoes he never lets my brother borrow. I move the bag and take a seat, holding it in my lap. It’s a thick plastic- the good kind that will surely suffocate the landfill animals. On the chair is a blue plastic bag with the hospital’s logo. She’ll get the message when she’s out of the meeting. Here he is, still in the gray dress shirt and linted black slacks I saw on him this morning.Īsking if he’s okay terrifies me, so I say, Does ma know? What does he know? He came in through the back entrance. Twenty minutes later, I’m searching for the emergency room he swears is easy to find. Stocked up on fashionable stationary and shoplifted jewelry, I am invincible. #GUY FIER IVOLUME KNOB FREE#He loves me too much.Īdrenaline flows heavy as I exit the mall, free and clear. We plan for them: steaks, prime rib, butter and sauces poured liberally. He shoots a glance in my direction as if to check the side mirror before changing lanes.ĭoesn’t matter, I say, but I know this means we’re going out for dinner because this is a rare moment where we get to pick the meal. ![]() But the tubes in his throat breathe for him. The machines are humming, asserting the fact that he is alive. My gaze catches on the running stitches peeking over the vee of his hospital gown, and I understand my father is no longer invincible. ![]()
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